it's harder than i thought it would be. i miss you much more than i could have imagine.
it's been a week since you broke up. well, it looks like you regret, but not all the time. you're special, you like to do things differently than everybody else. it's alright. but i don't always understand how you act. even if we both don't really know how to act in front of each other. we're acting like children who meet for the first time. it's weird and super uncomfortable, but still beautiful. cause we're strangers now, right? wrong. we can't be.
saturday night was beautiful. i had no idea what to wear that night. you were taking all my mind. i wanted to talk to you. i thought for one second that i'll never have the guts to do it. this saturday, we needed courage. through the loud music, the colourful lights and the incomprehensible other talks, we needed something to kick our damn asses and get us to talk, even if we don't really know what we're saying anymore. this courage, we both took a little bit too much of it. but, at least it was fun. Not every sip of courage tastes good. but as the evening moved forward, better was the taste. we talked, and talked, and talked.
and i met your lips, again.
maybe the courage helped us to a point that everything seemed like a good idea. and this, this was the second good move of that night. the first was to come. i've missed you and the feeling of our lips together. i've missed the forest of you eyes. your smell. and your heath. everything about you. you were mine for a couple of hours. leaving in the middle of something as beautiful as that was heartbreaking. i was mad at me. i was mad i had to leave. i secretly wished that this night had never ended. i could have stayed there, in your arms, heads and ideas a little confused but unstoppable.
that night, the courage we drink rewind the tapes, to a time when we could look at us in the future. together. waking up the very next day hurts. i added this moment to my memories spent with you. i now have a beautiful collection. i'll take care of 'em.
deep inside, i still have hope. to have you back. yeah right, i can dream. we both changed in a week. well, me, i know i changed. learning to still be able to smile and laugh like an happy-pretty-pathetic little girl. i still try to put glitters in everyone's life. to not be a problem, to not look like a sad girl. that's hard. everything's hard. but, you won't see it. i'll smile to everyone, be nice and fake a laugh. i'm ok with that. are you? cause everyone fakes a little bit.
mïa xx